Ralph Hosking Homepage

Quotes - A selection of quotes that I've collected over the years

One for the nerds: How many SEO experts do you need to change a lightbulb lightbulbs buy light bulbs neon lights sex porn - Katherine Felix Nash. 2012-01-16
She fakes like a woman, She makes love like a woman, She aches just like a woman, She breaks like a little girl. - Bob Dylan 2011-11-18 10:11
"It's a coincidence... it's what the universe does for fun." The Doctor - 2011-09-25 14:10
Jackson on politicians (2012) "when they tell you not to panic that's when you run" - 2011-09-10 16:38
"Bobby Cobb's number one rule of parenting - don't get involved" - Bobby Cobb, Cougar Town 2.15 2011-04-19 16:32
"Everybody's job makes them miserable, that's why they got to pay you to do it" - Jeff, Rules of Engagement 5.5 2011-02-22 20:27
"I will meow at a cat, possibly bark at a dog and certainly moo to a cow – not that I've ever seen one in the office. It's like when you visit France and try to speak French. You may not be very good at their language, but they appreciate the fact that you make the effort." - Whirlpool 2011-11-23 12:57
"Challenge your preconceptions or they will challenge you." - Star Trek Enterprise 1.4 2010-06-20 11:03 Star Trek
"It's better to want something you don't have than to have something you don't want." - Denny Crane 2010-01-01 15:40
"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great. ." - Mark Twain 2009-10-01 17:29
"Marriage means having someone who'll slap your enemies and toss their dead bodies out of aeroplanes." - Bones 2009-08-14 15:02
"Tonight sucks. And look at me. Look at - look at stupid Buffy. Too dumb for college, and-and-and freak Buffy, too strong for construction work. And-and my job at the magic shop? I was bored to tears even before the hour that wouldn't end. And the only person that I can even stand to be around is a... neutered vampire who cheats at kitten poker." - Buffy. All The Way 2008-08-14 21:15
"Sometimes I like to crumble up the Weatbix in the blood - gives it more texture." - Spike, Buffy, Hush 2008-04-21 19:54
"A man and a women can not connect intellectually without eventually connecting with... their connectors." - Mary. Third Rock from the Sun 2008-04-14 19:12
"Having sex with your pregnant wife is like putting gas in the tank of a car you've already wrecked." - Jefferson. Matried with children 2008-03-13 20:23
"Aren’t you a little fat for a stormtrooper?’ ‘Well stay here and rot, you stuck-up bitch." - Family Guy 2008-02-15 15:00
The one I love the idea of the one" but I actually believe that there isn't a Miss Right. There are 12,000 Miss Rights out there and it's all timing." Matthew Perry. http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/m/matthew_perry.html 2008-01-13
"There are only two rules in television; don't swear and don't whip it out." - Krusty. Simpsons 400 2007-08-07 19:52 Simpsons
"Touch a ladies mind & you have her interest, touch her heart & you have her love, but touch her soul and you have intimacy beyond your wildest dreams." - Anonymous 2007-06-24 17:34
Brian on 'Sex and the City': "So it's a show about three hookers and their mum?" - Brian family Guy 2007-06-17 19:58
"You can't put a square root in a round hole." - RH 2007-05-27 18:19
"Revenge doesn't solve anything. Then what's America doing in Iraq?" - Marge/Homer 2007-05-15 19:35 Simpsons
"If a man says something in the forest and there is no women there to hear him is he still wrong?" - Ken Layton. The Man Show. Comedy Channel. 2007-05-12 21:26
"Why are the pretty ones always insane?" - Chief Wiggum. The Simpsons. Screaming Yellow Honkers 2007-05-08 06:54 Simpsons
"Fry, please try to understand: you're a man I'm women we're just too different." - Fututama 2007-04-01 20:18
Hermes on top of building: "I'm going to jump". Bender: "Do a flip!" - Futurama 2007-03-29 18:38
"You're more than popular; you're pure lowest common denominator." - Futurama 2007-03-27 05:02
"Do you have anything on that remote lower than mute?" - Brian. Family Guy. The son also draws 2007-02-26 07:05
Warne responded to a series of Collingwood chirps by replying: "Mate you got an MBE for scoring seven runs. How embarrassing is that." - Warne 2007-01-05
"We sell stuff over the internet. I thought they proved that didn't exizt. yes they did we do it anyway." - Drew carey show 2006-12-15 19:47
"Funny how a snot-nosed kid with a moth-eaten teddy bear can make you pay attention." - Nick Stone. Aggessor. P291. 2006-07-01 18:56
"If wishes were horses we'd all be eating steak." - Firefly. Jayne. Objects in space. 2006-06-07 19:53
"Psyhcic? That sounds like something out of science fiction"... "We live in a spaceship dear." Firefly. Objects in space. 2006-06-07 19:51
"Do anything funny I've got your parents on speed dial." - Danny. Las Vegas 2006-05-19 19:33
"Don't stare at me Eddie. I'm a humane man but right now I could kick a kitten through an electric fan." - Frasier. Season 2 disk3 ep 1 2006-04-09 13:54
"Being alone sucks." - Friends, Rachael season 4 2006-03-25 21:00
Marge to Homer: "You think brushing your teeth is foreplay." - Doh 2006-03-07 16:45
"In my opinion, the night before Dipesto was born god went to a great party." - David Addison. Moonlighting 2006-02-15 19:06
"They're small, noisy, smelly, devil brats." - Noel Gallagher. The West Magazine. 2006-02-04 2006-02-04 13:05
'This is the final episode of last season's series, which Nine declined to show because they hate you." - Australian 2006-02-04
"There is no such thing as minor groin surgery." - Dennis Miller. The West. 2006-01-10 p55 2006-01-10 19:10
"Ahhh the pitter patter of tiny feet in huge combat boots." - Malcolm Reynolds. War Stories. Firefly. 2005-12-17 14:35
"You're telling me Vulcans stole your homework?" - The Nagus 2005-11-20 15:35
"Marge I'm pulling an all nighter. Put on a pot of coffee drink it and start making burgers." - Simpsons 2005-11-13 19:59
French WWII The last time they (the French) owned up to a mistake, Roosevelt and Churchill had to spend the second half of World War II listening to De Gaulle ranting about a big baguette he was while the Vichy government was pole dancing for the Nazis. From the Financial Review p72. 2005-11-08
"What the hell in wrong with those kids? They're always sticky." - Frank Barone. Everybody Loves Raymond 2005-11-01
"I've done stuff I'm not proud of and the stuff I am proud of is disgusting." - Moe. The Simpsons. 2005-09-13 19:47 Simpsons
"It's better to regret something you did, than to regret something you didn't do!" - 2005-08-21 16:03
"But he didn't know what to do about it. At thirty-three, with eight years of university education behind him, he had spent far too many hours in academic pursuits and too few learning the rituals of courtship." - Icebound. Dean Koontz p99 2005-08-16 15:56
"Geman always sounds so mean. A naked woman can be whispering sweet nothings in your ear in bed, and if she's talking in German it sounds like she wants to rip your heart out with a fork." - Tin man, Dale Brown. P353 2005-08-16 13:29
"The worst defeat is never having tried to win." - Tin Man, Dale Brown. p153. 2005-08-15 18:40
"Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood." - Oscar Wilde 1854 - 1900. The cat who walks through walls. p206 2005-08-07 10:57
"There are no perfect men in this world only perfect intentions." - azim rob hood p o t 2005-08-05 22:18
"You, my room, 1030 tonite. You, 1045, bring a friend." - The sherrif Robin Hood Prince of Thieves 2005-08-05 21:27
"Loxley, I'm gong to cut your heart out with a spoon... Why a spoon cousin? Why not an axe? Because it's dull you twit, it'll hurt more." - Robin Hood Prince of Thieves 2005-08-05 21:16
"A wolf remains a wolf even if it has not eaten your sheep." - V.I.N.C.E.N.T. Black Hole. Disney. 2005-07-31 16:41
"Aren't you one of those guys? Guys? They send you out into the wilderness with a pocketknife and a cue tip and they build you a shoppping mall." - 6d7n 2005-07-30 20:57
"Sturgeon's first law Ninety percent of anything is crap." - David Brin. Earth. P310 2005-07-30 00:52
"A bachelor is a man who hasn't made the same mistake once." - sunrise 2005-07-29 06:53
"All's fair in love and bouncy bouncy." - Harvey Birdman 2005-07-28 22:16
"Failure is never quiet so frightening as regret." - The Dish. Cliff's wife. 2005-07-22 18:35
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." - Benjamin Franklin 2005-07-22 06:00
"Beer is the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems." - Homer Simpson 2005-07-22 05:58
"The internet is just another way of being rejected by women." - George, You've Got Mail. 2005-07-15 20:59
"A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts." - Seven Sunrise 2005-07-15 05:52
"Terrorists don't wear uniforms and they play by inscrutable rules... the rule of World War III, which has already begun." - Hunter S. Thompson, Sept. 18 2001. 2005-07-08 17:13
"Tom should stick to saving the world from aliens and let women decide what treatment is best for them." - An antidepreeant-touting Brooke Shields offers some advise to Tom Cruise. The West Australian Today. 2005-06-30. 2005-06-30 16:25
"The astronomer's rule of thumb: if you don't write it down, it didn't happen." - The Cuckoo's Egg. Cliff Stoll. p28. 1989. 2005-06-28 19:43
"Do you have another word for thesaurus?" - David Hosking 2005-06-16 18:17
"It's when people stop the nagging and start being nice to each other you have to worry." - Bravo two zero p51 2005-06-09 23:30
"How bad does porn have to get before they put it in the horror section?" - Katherine Felix Nash 2005-05-25 21.59
"Go get yourself a bikini wax - I like a clean workspace" - Young lawyer to Karen. Will & Grace? 2005-05-22 10.53
"What's wrong with him? He gave his all. Some people get to all faster than others." - Potter/Hawkeye/Mash Mash 2005-05-12
"So, what planet are your parents from? Oh, somewhere at the back. rh/bc/2005-05-12
"First Corollary of Taber's Second Law: Machines that piss people off get murdered." - Pat Taber 2005-02-12
"Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen - they are just like panda bears, everyone's watching them, waiting to see if they'll survive." - Claire Danes 2005-01-31 20:33
"I'll just throw back my legs and polute my pants with delight." - Mr. Burns. C.E.D'oh. The Simpsons 2005-01-31 Simpsons
"All girls are nice girls, as long as they're under 50, still warm and come across." - Bodie, The Professionals, Old Dog with New Tricks. 2005-01-21
"The first rule of magic is simple. Don't waste your time waving your hands and hoping when a rock or a club will do." - McCloctnik the Lucid 2005-01-12 16:51
"Be braver -- you can't cross a chasm in two small jumps." - 2005-01-08
The best way to predict the future is to create it." - Peter F. Drucker 2005-01-08
"Whistler: I want peace on earth and goodwill toward men. Bernard Abbott: We're the United States Government! We don't deal with that sort of thing." - Sneakers 2005-01-01
"I understand assembly, women, 2+3=chair!?" - credit to comedy central of course! 2004-12-31
"Logic has never explained what dead means." - Blake, Blake's 7, Duel 2004-12-22
"Evil I like my evil like I like my men: Evil. Straight up, black hat, tie you to the train tracks, soon my electro-ray will destroy metropolis BAD, not all mixed up with guilt and the destruction of an indigenous culture." - Buffy. Buffy The Vampire Slayer 2004-12-11
"A cynic is what an idealist calls a realist Humphrey." - Yes Minister, The Moral Dimension 2004-12-01
"If you see a man opening a car door for a woman, it means one of two things: it's either a new woman or a new car." - The Duke of Edinburgh. The West Magazine. 2004-10-30 p54. 2004-10-30 21:33
"There really are no Good Guys and Bad Guys. Just a lot of people falling over each other trying to do what they think is right." - Kirk. Strangers from the Sky. margaret wander bonanno. p24. 2004-10-26 21:58 Star Trek
"In business news 3M and M&M have combined to form... get this... UltraDyne Systems." - I'm Spelling As Fast As I Can. Kent Brockman 2004-10-17 08:32 Simpsons
"The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money is usually cheaper." - Brendan Francis, Author. The Aus. Magazine August 14-15 2004. p8 2004-08-14 16:18
"I dont want to just rain on your parade. I want to blow up all the floats." - Munch. Law And Order 2004-07-03 20:33
"Chin up, Paris, I know how these sex tape scandals can be. I thought yours was cute though. But you should have kept your heels on!" - Pamela Anderson in a phone message to Paris Hilton. West Aust. 2004-02-26. 2004-02-26 18:38
"Desire is irrelevant. I am a machine." - Arnold Schwarzenegger, T3. The Aust. p21 2003-07-06 16:56
"Show business is a hideous bitch goddess." - Simpsons. fall-out boy 2003-07-01 18:11 Simpsons
"I'm not a pyscho, I'm just... off Milo." - The Oblongs. 2003-06-18 19:06
"My French is so much better when I've had a couple of glases of wine." - Kylie Minogue during the Cannes Film Festival. Weekend Australian 2003-06-07 17:09
"Anyone who considers protocol unimportant has never dealt with a cat." - Expanded Universe, Robert A. Heinlein. L. Long. p28 2003-05-26 22:36 Cats
"At the end of the night the beautiful people go to bed with the beautiful people, the rest of us have a kebab." - world comedy tour: show us your roots 2003-05-18 18:27
"Alright kids, who wants to buy an Asprin?" - Planet of the Apes 2003-05-01
"We all have our time machines don't we? Those that take us back in our memomies, and those that carry us forward in our deams." - The Time Machine 2003-04-16 22:35
"Bad guys do what good guys dream." - Law & Order CI 2003-04-15 22:01
"We spent the weekend looking for fun in Belgium, which is an isometric exercise. That is, it's a strain but you get nowhere." - P. J. O'Rourke. Weekend Australian 2003-03-08 23:10
"It's only brave when you're scared." - Billy Connolly 2002-08-01 20:57
"No! I'm not going out with women anymore. They're too dangerous." - Men Behaving Badly. Tony. 2002-07-28 22:02
"Take Tom Cruise, Harrison Ford, Arnold Schwarzenegger - any of those tough guys - put them in a room with spiders and one of them will jump on the table." - Tobey Maguire aka Spider-Man. The West. Today p3. 2002-05-15
"Catholic girls are scarey." - Hudson Hawk 2002-03-09 22:39
"Tell me Worf, do they still sing songs about the great Tribble hunt?" - Odo. The Trouble with Tribbles 2002-03-02 21:52
"What is the point of being in business if you can't corner the market?" - Quark. The Dogs of War. Star Trek 2002-03-02 20:45
"What have we come to if you can't demand sexual favors from your employees?" - Quark. The Dogs of War. Star Trek 2002-03-02 20:45
"Tell me Damar, when you're alone do you even bother with the glass?" - Weyoun DS9. Star Trek 2002-03-02 20:35
"It's easy to get a little jumpy when you're travelling at 30M km/s." - Archer Broken Bow. Star Trek 2002-02-27 21:22
"Trust is earned not given away Worf." - The Wounded. Star Trek 2002-01-28 15:38
"If winning isn't important, Commander, then why keep score?" - Worf 11001001. Star Trek 2002-01-20 20:48
"Never interrupt me when I'm talking to myself." - McComb. Timecop. 2001-12-30 12:55
"Scientists are men who dream about doing things. If you want to be an engineer but you find you have ten thumbs, become a scientist." - James Michener. 1907-1997 IEEE Spectrum. Dec. 2001. p96. 2001-12-24 16:24
"You can't rule the world in hiding. You've got to come out on the balcony sometimes and wave a tentacle." - The Doctor. Doctor Who. 1963. 2001-11-25 10:24
"It is better to debate an importart matter without settling it than to settle it without debating it." - Anonymous. West. p94 2001-11-24 09:22
"Ambition is just an excuse for not having the guts to be lazy." - Wogboy 2001-11-17 14:06
"Enjoying life is not an exclusive preserve of young people. It is far better to be out with beautiful girls than be an old fart in the pub talking abuut what you were like in the 60s." - Mick Jagger. West Australian. 2001-11-16. Today. p3. 2001-11-16 12:19
"The ABC's a bit like an Arrowroot biscuit, an old favorite, but they taste like shit." - Cam Haag. Voter in Dickson. The Australian, 2001-10-31, p10. 2001-10-31 12:28
"It is a bad sign when the people of a country stop identifying themselves with the country and start identifying with a group. A racial group. Or a religion. Or a language. Anything, as long as it isn't the country." - Fridayp291 2001-10-03 00:41
"A friendly computer with a Strine accent is better company than most people, human or my sort." - Friday. p246 2001-10-03 00:37
"I don't understand women. Nor do I, but they understand us." - A Knight's Tale 2001-10-01 14:31
"The French don't care what they do actually as long as they pronounce it properly." - Henry Higgins. My Fair Lady. 1963. 2001-09-29 10:17
"Doesn't know, doesn't care. Lucky bastard." - John Mellion, Crocodile Dundee 2001-09-28 19:39
"Painfull to live in fear ain't it?" - Leon, Blade Runner 2001-09-15 17:48
"Part of being a captain is knowing when to smile. Make the troops happy, even when it's the last thing in the world you want to do. Because they're your troops and you have to take care of them." - ST:DS9 4.9 Sisko. Rules of Engagement. Star Trek 2001-09-10 17:32
"There is a rather short list of ways whereby this condition can arise." - NASA on the possibility that astronauts on the International Space Station might get pregnant. The Times Weekend 2001-09-08 p20 2001-09-09 09:47
"Life passes most people by while they're making grand plans for it." - George Yung (Johnny Depp) Blow 2001-09-08 17:55
"I'd be happy to find a women that'd talk dirty to me." - Goose. Top Gun. 2001-09-01 19:35
"If it is just us it's an awful waste of space." - Contact. Ellie's dad 2001-09-01 17:01
"Killing your own clone is still murder." - Odo. DS9. Star Trek 2001-09-01 11:03
"What is this talk of 'release'? Klingons do not make software 'releases.' Our software 'escapes' leaving a bloody trail of designers and Quality Assurance people in its wake." - Klingon Programmer" FDU 2001-08-31 12:45
"You know how a woman gets a guy excited? How? She shows up. Thats it. We're guys. We're easy." - Harrison Ford, Six Days Seven Nights. 2001-08-26 15:23
"Funny how they always want to be friends after they rip your guts out." - Starship Troopers 2001-08-19 14:18
"The bedrock principle of marketing: People are stupid." - Dave Barry, IHT p18 2001-08-11
"How do you make 3lb of fat look attractive? Wack a nipple on it." - David Hosking 2001-07-23 21:06
"Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age." - Jeanne Moreau 2001-06-23 06:06
"Things don't happen for a reason. They just... happen." - Meg Ryan. Proof of Life 2001-06-16 17:21
"But still, he knew that one of the secrets of getting along with others was to take an interest in their interests." - Kirk. Prime Directive. p86 2001-05-24 17:01
"It's really debilitating being nuts about someone, you lose 20 IQ points every time you speak to them." - Lister. RD VIII 2. 2001-04-06 12:17 Red Dwarf
"MIRAGEcrm is too close to in terms of design to Outlook." - BSI/VEG 2001-03-05
"I hate alone. Alone sucks." - Entrapment 2001-03-03 14:41
"The best way to predict the future is to invent it." - Alan Kay 2001-02-25 07:16
"Sooner or later a man has to face his demons." - Mulder. X-Files. Fire. 2001-01-30 07:52
"If this is all a dream, why can't there be more girls?" - Major West. Lost in Space. 2001-01-28 17:31
"I guess sometimes friendship means listening to your heart not your head." - Wil Robinson. Lost in Space. 2001-01-28
"Stop watching, start doing." - CBA ad 2000-10-22 14:11 2000-10-22 14:11
"Most Internet enterpreneurs treat the users' attention as a Third World country to be strip-mined." - Jakob Nielsen (Silicon Valley specialist on software usability) IHT 2000-07-18 p1
"Women, you know the difference between a 10 year old boy and a 40 year old man? The 40 year old shaves." - The Tonight Show With Jay Leno. 2000-07-15
"The only thing you know is it smells like moisterizer over there." - Ray Romano on king sized beds. Late Night With Conan O'Brien. 1998-10-30
"This is exactly why I hated gym class. I was afraid that Gator would decide to snap me with a towel, and I would never walk again." - Killer Ducks! Beware! Dave Barry. IHT April 4-5 1998. p20 1998-04-05
"God gave us a penis and a brain and only enough blood to run one at a time." - Robin Williams. The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. 1995-11-13
"The older I get, the better I was T-shirt." - Pub in the Grund. 1995-07-05
"There's no points expiry if you earn or redeem points within any three-year period - so you won't have to take a holiday in Dubbo if you really wanted to fly to Vanuatu the ad said. Virgin ad
"I've been shot at chased married. And when the guy found out I was a dude it wasn't a deal breaker" Resse. Malcolm in the Middle
"Riley: When I saw you stop the world from you know ending I just assumed that was just a big week for you. Turns out I suddenly find myself needing to know the plural of apocolpyse"
"Software Engineering is a race between the programmers trying to make bigger and better fool-proof software and the universe trying to make bigger fools. So far the Universe in winning."
"It is amazing what you can accomplish if you don't care who gets the credit." - Harry S Truman
"You can't judge people by what they think, or say, only by what they do." - Major Kira. ST:DS9. By Inferno's Light. Star Trek. Paramount. 1997
"You can't let the little pricks generation gap you." - Molly. Neuromancer. William Gibson. Grafton Books. p76
"Even his experiments in alcohol had been successful, although he hadn't been able to walk properly for two days" - Interesting times. Terry Pratchet. Corgi Books 1994. p29
"Sometimes if you hold out for everything you end up with nothing" - Ally McBeal
"The world is no longer a romantic place. some of the people are. Therein lives the promise." - Ally McBeal
"Commander I don't think you can analyse love. It's the greatest mystery of all. No one knows why it happens or doesn't... if we could define love, predict it, it would probably lose its power." - Neelix. Star Trek
"Anyone who awoke from a sound sleep in a cheerful mood and instantly made bad jokes must have come from a broken branch of evolution" - Treasure. Clive Cussler. Harper Collins. 1988. p372
"Nerds tend to have cats, not dogs. Low maintenance." - Microserfs. Douglas Coupland. p97 Cats
"... seven long years of give a little, take a little. Stack a little money away" - Goodbye (Astrid Goodbye). Cold Chisel
"Simplicity, consistency, brevity are key to correctness, reliability, maintainability" - Some Proposals for Database Design, Uriel Wittenberg, UrielW@compuserve.com
"This world is a comedy to those that think, a tragedy to those that feel" - Horace Walpole 1717-1797
"How did you like command? Comfortable chair" - Riker/Worf. The Emissary. Star Trek
"Good computer games need the illusion of winnability." - Chris Crawford. Chaos Manor. Byte December 1996. p154
"DOS "C:\DOS> C:\DOS\RUN> RUN\DOS\RUN" - Simpsons
"DOS n. A series of fatal PC virus distributed by Microsoft." - Computer Contradictory, Second Edition. MIT Press, Cambridge, Mass., 1995.
"The only problem with safe sex in East Fremantle is the town Councillors' parents didn't practice it." - David Hosking. Fremantle local newspaper 1995
"It's a lot easier to be famous than to be a decent person." - Liza Tarbuck.
"Is it not so strange that desire should outlive performance" - William Shakespeare 1564-1616
"If you don't write it down, then it never happened." - Dr Carolyn Ryan. Debt of Honor. Tom Clancy. p530.
"They're stronger, they're smarter and they don't fight fair" - Don Cherry. Disclosure. 1995
"Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; when it is bad, it is better than nothing." - Dick Brandon
"... the future, the past. Old friends long gone" - Yoda. The Empire Strikes Back. Twentieth Century Fox. 1980
"Fate, it protects fools, small children and ships called Enterprise" - Commander Riker. Star Trek: The Next Generation. Contagion. Stardate 42609.1.
"May I suggest, that maybe it's yourself you don't trust. Your feelings that you're afraid of" - Neelix. ST:V. Unforgettable Star Trek
"If a man hasn't discovered something he will die for, he isn't fit to live" - Martin Luther King 1929-1968
"The follies which a man regrets most of his life, are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity" - Helen Rowlan 1875 - 1950
"A knowledgeable fool is a greater fool than an ignorant fool" - Moliere
"Fool-proof implies a finite number of fools." - Anonymous
"99% of the people in this world are fools and the rest of us are in great danger of contagion." - Sherrif Daniels. Miracle Man. X-Files. X-Files
"It takes a minute to have a crush on someone. An hour to like someone. A day to love someone. But it takes a lifetime to forget someone."
"Just in time for Christmas scientists have taken a gene from a fruitcake, and a gene from a Mexican jumping bean to create a fruitcake that will throw itself into the garbage for you." - Jay Leno. The Tonight Show
"Genius does what it must, and Talent does what it can" - Owen Meredith
"How depressing is it - that moment when you give up?" - Mumford
"There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so." - Hamlet
"That's the metaphorical equivalent of flopping your wedding tackle into a lion's mouth and flicking his love spuds with a wet towel - total insanity" - Rimmer. Rimmerworld. Red Dwarf. Copyright BBC Enter Red Dwarf
"For designing games, Lego makes a great quickie simulator for figuring out mazes for gaming levels" - Microserfs. Douglas Coupland. Flamingo. 1995. p76
"Life is short, the art long" - Hipprocates
"Little girls, like butterflies, need no excuse." - Lazarus Long. Time Enough For Love. Robert A. Heinlein. NEL 1974. p259
"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever" - Mahatma Gandhi
"Lord High Fixer n. For any given installation, the oldest living member of the original programming team." - Computer Contradictory, Second Edition. MIT Press, Cambridge, Mass., 1995.
"I never fall for women that are any good for me Kryten, it's either heart breakers or moral garbage on legs" - Lister. Gunmen of the Apocalypse. Red Dwarf. Copyright BBC Enterprises Ltd. 1993 Red Dwarf
"Love is a sickness that holds back your career and makes you want to spend all your money" - Rimmer. Confidence and Paranoia. Red Dwarf. Copyright BBC Enterprises Ltd. 199? Red Dwarf
"Love is a device invented by bank managers to make us overdrawn" - Rimmer. Confidence and Paranoia. Red Dwarf. Copyright BBC Enterprises Ltd. 199? Red Dwarf
"Camille, I think I E5 A9 08 B7 you" - Kryten. Camille. Red Dwarf IV. Copyright BBC Enterprises 1991 Red Dwarf
"All right, ok, this is good " - President Shepherd. The American President. Castle Rock & Universal 1995
"Love (at first sight) Advanced mutual compatibility on the basis of a primary ident" - Camille. Camille. Red Dwarf. Copyright BBC Enterprises Ltd. 1991 Red Dwarf
"What a piece of work is man! how noble in reason! how infinite in faculty! in form and moving how express and admirable! in action how like an angel! in apprehension how like a god!" - Hamlet
"The shortest way to do many things is to do only one thing at a time" - Samuel Smiles
"Men fall into one of two catagories: wet and keen or bastards. The bastards always get the girls ..." - The Tall Guy. LWT & Virgin Vision. 1989
"Men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way No man can be friends with a women that he finds attractive. He alway want to have sex with them" - Harry Burns. Billy Crystal. When Harry Met Sally
"...talking between men and women never solves anything. Where we think, they feel. They are creatures of the heart" - Don Pedro. Anthony Quinn. A Walk in the Clouds. 1995
"Captain, I am not a merry man" - Worf. Q-pid. ST:TNG. Star Trek
"For the money. For the glory. For the fun. But mostly for the money." - Burt Reynolds. Smokie and the Bandit. Universal. 1977
"All mankind is divided into three classes: those that are immovable, those that are movable, and those that move." - Arabian Proverb
"You can't be a nonconformist if you don't wear the proper uniform" - Midnight at the Well of Souls. Jack L. Chalker. Pan 1977. p7
"God I love nurses, they're so disgustingly clinical" - Captain Edmund Blackadder. General Hospital. Blackadder Goes Forth. Copyright BBC Enterprises Ltd. 1991
"Felis catus is your taxonomic nomenclature, An endothermic quadruped, carnivorous by nature; Your visual, olfactory, and auditory senses Contribute to your hunting skill and natural defenses. I find myself intrigued by your sub-vocal oscillations, A singular development of cat communication That obviates your basic hedonistic predilections For a rhythmic stroking of your fur to demonstrate affection. A tail is quite essential for your acrobatic talents, You would not be so agile if you lacked its counterbalance. And when not being utilized to aid in locomotion It often serves to illustrate the state of your emotions. Oh Spot, the complex level of behavior you display Connotes a fairly well-developed cognitive array; And though you are not sentient, Spot, and do not comprehend, I nonetheless consider you a true and valued friend. " - Data, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Schisms
"I just called my office, some good news, everything went bad without me" - Jack Lawrence. Billy Crystal. Father's Day. Warner Bros. 1997
"Mr Kim, we're Starfleet officers, wierd is part of the job" - Captain Janeway. Star Trek: Voyager. Deadlock. Stardate 49548.7. Copyright Paramount Pictures. 1996
"How's the opera? Wonderful, I've never slept bette" - Mulder/X 2.4 X-Files
"For telerate drop pages add 1 to the width as THAT STUPID TELERATE MOB deliver a headliner of 81 charcters long. I'm too fucking lazy and pissed off to make major changes to the driver to fix this problem this is nice and easy." - PM
"A hypothetic paradox: What would happen in a battle between an Enterprise security team, who always get killed soon after appearinng, and a squad of Imperial Storm Troopers, who can't hit the broad side of a planet?"
"Of course I'm paranoid, everyone's trying to kill me" - Garak, DS9. Star Trek
"Even paranoids have enemies" - Kissinger
"Most people can't see past the surface, especially when what they see is so beautiful" - Odo. Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. A Simple Investigation. Stardate 50626.6. Copyright Paramount Pictures 1996
"Pub... a meeting place where people attempt to achieve an advanced state of mental incompetance by the repeated consumption of fermented vegetable drinks" - Kryten. Timeslides. Red Dwarf. Copyright BBC
"Real Users find the one combination of bizarre input that shuts down the system for days"
"The probability of a young man meeting a desirable and receptive young female increases by pyramidal progression when he is already in the company of 1 a date, 2 his wife, 3 a better looking and rich male friend"
"When you sit with a nice girl for two hours you think it's only a minute. But when you sit on a hot stove for a minute you think it's two hours. That's relativity " - Albert Einstein
"If they come back, they are yours. If they don't, they never were."
"It appears we have lost our sex appeal" - Captain Tuvok. Elogium. ST:VOY Star Trek
"... frowned like a man trying to unbend a corkscrew by telekinesis" - Life, the Universe and Everything. Douglas Adams. Pan. 1982
"To speed up, you slow down; to slow down, you speed up." - The cat who walks though walls. Robert A Heinlein. p109
"In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women, and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri, were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri"
"The girl already likes you, it means you're already half way home" - ST:DS9 His Way Vic Fontain. 1998 Star Trek
"This above all - to thine own self be true" - Polonius. Hamlet Act I, Scene III
"To live is like to love - all reason is against it, and all healthy instinct for it" - Samuel Butler 1835-1902
"Top 20 Signs That You Need a Vacation #2.The radiation from your monitor has burnt your shadow onto the wall. Kazak the hound of space" - dilbert.com
"Truth is more than mental exercise" - Thurgood Marshall
"I feel,... under utilized." - Neelix. Star Trek: Voyager, Initiations. Stardate 49005.3 Paramount 1995 Star Trek
"Quis custodiet ipsos custodes (Who will watch the guardians) "
"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro" - Hunter Thompson. Hackers. p386. Insanely Great p217.
"What are they Bones? You mean are they alien illusions, that sort of thing? I asked you first." - Mudd's Women, Kirk/Bones, TOS 1.05 Star Trek
"Better that I devote myself to study that other great mystery of the universe - women" - Doc Brown. Back to the Future II. Univeral 198?
"word processor n. A text editor with 200 unused features." - Computer Contradictory, Second Edition. MIT Press, Cambridge, Mass., 1995.
"People forget the brain is the bigest erorgenopus zone." - The Big Lebowski
"how inappropriate to call this planet earth when it is clearly ocean" - Arthur C Clarke
"emotional independence begins with the development of inner resources" - anonymous
"It's mysterious, that element. How can you meet a person and be so aware. It's as if something inside you wakes up. Postmortem. Patricia Cornwell." - Warner Books. 1990. p67,
"microprocessor n. Twenty years of architectural blundering concentrated into a single chip." - Computer Contradictory, Second Edition. MIT Press, Cambridge, Mass., 1995.
"You think I have no emotions, believe me I do, I just don't always show them " - odo ds9 his way Star Trek
"Rules and models destroy genius and art" - William Hazlitt
"The classic problem in acquisitions is that the acquiring company doesn't really understand what they are buying and they kill the goose that lays the golden egg. They don't intend to; but they do. They destroy the very thing they want to acquire." - Disclosure